Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
