your thong is hanging out like whoa
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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