you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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