i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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