I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
