oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
