i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Randomize
