singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
