Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
