I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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