Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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