of course. lets lasso hookers.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He felt like a one man threesome
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
