yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The best revenge is premature balding
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
