Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
