shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
