fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
