Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
