dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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