I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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