Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
