yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
