It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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