thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
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