No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
