i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
