if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
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