Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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