Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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