Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
