Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Randomize
