I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
He told me they were just razor bumps!
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
