I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
