his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
