Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
