So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
