You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Randomize
