Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
