Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
