Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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