Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
where does the pee come out of this thing
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
