i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
