Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
