In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
