My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
and she was petting her beer can
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
