how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
