I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
