and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
