you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Randomize
