it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
BRING THE BAGELS
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
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