that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I'm at about main and main street
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
